All the tornados recently have caused me to think. When we think of the “eye” of the storm, we think about the most dangerous place of the storm. If the “eye” heads our way, we all run for cover. Many of us find our way to shelter. We respect its presence and take cover, praying until we’re sure it has past. It is the deadliest part of the storm, consuming all in its path. The “eye” doesn’t recognize what’s in its path. It doesn’t distinguish who’s in its path; it just rips through towns, leaving only sketches of civilization.
If you know anything about me, you know I absolutely love looking at the History Channel. I can stay glued for hours looking @ Archaeologist “Rock Star” Dr. Hawass, on “Chasing Mummies”. While others are off @ the mall, talking to girlfriends, snuggled with lovers or looking at sports, I’m reading or watching programs on history. Seeing the disaster in Joplin , MO Joplin , I can clearly see those people picking up the pieces and leaving, never to return, leaving Joplin
I got to thinking, was I an “Eye”, and am I the “eye” in my relationship. Have I destroyed fruitful relationships, only to leave the horrible memories of disaster? Am I the “Beautiful Storm?” My initial response was “NO” it has never been me, I’ve never been the person to destroy my relationship. I’ve always, always been the one to nurture the relationship, playing the part of an Architect, not the Tornado. I’ve been the one to build the relationship up, giving the guy everything he needs to feel secure in our relationship I’ve played the role of the “woman” and I did it very well, damn it! So I thought. I then thought, yes, I guess I have been the Architect, like the one from “The Matrix” to a certain degree. Realizing the part I’ve played in destroying my past relationships has allowed me to humble myself. I’m drunk on reality and will need a moment to soak it all in. I am “A Beautiful Disaster” Are you? Have you ever been?
I guess at the end of the day, I should take responsibility for my actions. I need to reevaluate what has caused me to behave that way and determine what part I tend to play in my relationships going forward.
This is going to have to be continued………….
Until Next Time, Love Someone
so as a beautiful diaster does that mean the u pick up the pieces of your relationship and strengthen it or do you move on to the next town like most storms do? because I too am a diaster but i dont want to move on i want too luv the town im in U R special to me.
ReplyDeleteOur connection to things sometimes is the source of our pain, more than the thing(s) lost! Examining (& re-examining) our connections on a regular basis can help us evaluate what amount of an impact that potentially lost thing has on us. Overuse and maladministered infatuation and misplaced dependency (often mistaken for love, commitment and endurance) can cause emotional imbalance and cause more pain than it should; in addition to causing one to see only in polarizing extremes and often times clouding the issue of making a decision about staying and rebuilding versus moving on!
ReplyDeleteKizzy your self-reflection and self-examination are to be commended and applauded! Sometimes we need to apply intentional, self-alignment in order to resonate with life and others, so you seem to practised at pulling out your tuning fork and sharing those good vibrations with other!
We often don't see the need for self-correction in a society that seems dominated by wonton relativity and too many of us are practicing situational ethics, in relationships that could benefit from more compromise and true consideration!
"The unexamined life is not worth living." -- Socrates
**Keep up the good work! P.S.S.
El(Poor Souls) - I totally believe, the connection to "things" can be the source of our pain. I also love your point of view on the part society plays in how we behave in relationships. Think we all need to think about the role we play, with honesty.
ReplyDelete