Saturday, June 4, 2011

OMG! OMG! We've Moved

OMG I'm so excited!! The Random Alignment of Life has moved to http://www.theraol.com/ - Please.  Please stop by the new website.  It has the same great insight(@ least I hope it is) from me along with some other really, really cool features.  Don't forget to follow us & like us on Facebook!! 

Thank everyone for their ongoing support!  I SOOOOOOO Appreciate it all!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

To Think or Not to Think?

Ok, so have you realized that must times I ramble?  I mean I can ramble on for hours.  I think it depends on which circle of people you ask.  To some I'm just as scattered as a crazy person off their meds & to others, I might be a philosopher.  I'd like to think of myself as the latter. Not because it sounds cool, but for what it stands for, what it means.  To me being a philosopher means, questioning the "norm". It means, even evaluating the use of words like "normal" & "crazy".  To me it means being a free thinker.  It means being a person who can evaluate life on a conscious and sub-conscious level.  It means being a person who can comprehend what the books say, but also understand and read the realms of eternity, immortality just as clearly.  It’s the eternal quest, thirst for knowledge that draws me to philosophy.  I am humbled by the things I will never know. I search for those “unknown” things, even when I know they’re impossible to discover.  I do it in for the sake of helping to evolve humanity and its society into the sense of Utopia we can only dream about at this age of humanity. 

I think when I was younger I felt “ashamed” of who I was.  I’m sure I became a recluse, because the topics I wanted to discuss, the things I wanted to explore were not the average things people my age talked about.  Most times I felt like Michael J Fox in “Teen Wolf”.  Here I am with this secret, secret that may change the world around me, my friends and families view of me, so I have to hide it.  I have to hide who I truly am, because of the fear I had.  I was afraid to tell the people who should have understood me the most, the people who should have in theory been the most supportive or encouraging, that I like to “think” outside the box.  My heart & mind, wanted to scream it from the mountain top, but my current surroundings, reminded me that I lived in a valley.  A valley full of people who were so consumed with going in circles, that they wouldn’t even notice a “box” in or out side of it.  So I sat at the edge of the circle and peered at the box as often as I could.  I was lost.  I knew I wanted to “think” outside of the box, but living in a community of people who ran around in circles; there wasn’t anyone there to show me how to approach the “box”

 Looking back, I realize how easy it is to crush someone’s dreams.  Gosh, oh gosh.  How many people have ideas, desires, and awesome dreams only to watch them fizzle away, because no one to help them realize it, believe in it or encourage them.  Or maybe it’s the complete opposite there are people in your life who drain you emotionally and physically of the point that dreams, turn into despair.

I think I’m rambling again, I’ve lost my point.  What I was trying to get to is…….It’s never too late to DREAM!  Your dream never ever dies!  It’s just waiting on you to set it free.  Fly dream, fly!!

Until Next Time, Love Someone

Monday, May 30, 2011

Distorted Energy

Distorted Energy
A distortion is the alteration of the original shape (or other characteristic) of an object, image, sound, waveform or other form of information or representation. Distortion is usually unwanted, and often many methods are employed to minimize it in practice.
Have you ever evaluated a relationship with a person and wondered, am I allowing this person to distort my energy? I wonder how many people have spent years of their lives, wasting energy?  How many people haven’t realized that the current situation that they’re in is distorting their energy?  How many of you, men and women, understand that while you’re trying to hold on to that person, that it’s that very person who is the cause of your imbalance. 
What am I talking about?  Think about this, before you met him/her, unless you jumped right out of the frying pan, into the skillet were you happy?  Did you have goals, hobbies, talents, and dreams that you were entertaining?  Look at the simple things we take for granted, at some point in time were you taking peaceful walks in the park?  Did you ever spend hours at a time reading interesting books?  Were you the type to go play basketball with the fellows on a scheduled Tuesday night, or early Saturday morning?  Did you paint religiously on Sunday mornings, as a way of meditation and reflection on life?  Whatever it was that you did, since you’ve been in this relationship do you still do it?  Did you lose the desires to do those things and you aren’t even really sure when or why?  It’s because your life is distorted, your energy is distorted and you need to find the balance again, QUICK! 
How did this happen? Maybe it started with an argument of his/her where about?  Maybe it happens the first time you caught him/her in a lie?  I don’t know perhaps it happen after he/she got up out of bed in the middle of the night to answer the phone.  Maybe it started when he/she made a promise and didn’t keep it.  Maybe he/she sold you dreams, but they haven’t delivered those dreams.  Dreams that you put a down payment on, that you believed in and you don’t have enough emotional credit to deposit into anyone else, so you’re “praying” they deliver?  I just know you’ll know it happen when you “wake up” and realize, “I use to.”  If you find yourself saying what you “use” to do, without a valid reason as to why you don’t do it any more, other than time, it’s more than likely because of him/her.   
Before we realize it, we let people consume our thoughts, our lives.  It doesn’t matter if we’re checking their Facebook page every day, that’s time spent distorted.  What if watching their cell phones like vultures every day, waiting on him or her to leave it for a minute, so we can attach it, that’s distortion.  Maybe you’re calling them every 20 minutes to determine where they are.  Some of us know where they are, because we follow them, that’s distortions.  Others may just wait to they return home to question them like you’re the detective on a hit drama show on NBC.  You may even find yourself trying to force him or her to be with you, showing up at their job with “lunch.” You may insist on cooking them dinner, washing their car?  You might agree to pick them up from work and drop them off since their car is down, even though any other time you wouldn’t see him/her?  Or you’re the one that’s offering to help with bills, to pick up the bad ass kids from daycare.  You might be the one who gives her money to put food in the house, in hopes to get invited to the house? 
There are plenty of ways; relationships can “distort” our energy, causing us to forget about the things that make us unique.  We forget about whom we are, who we want to be, all in hopes that the other person will want to be with us.  While all these things are taking place, you are losing yourself.  You are forgetting about you.  You are distorting your energy.  You can’t hoop with the boys because you chasing after her, to make sure she not with that dude you caught her texting last week.  You can’t start that boot camp you wanted to because he’ll be upset if you aren’t there when he gets home.  It’s a million and one reasons we use as to why we can’t, why we’ve stopped or why we’ll pick it back up, but the #1 reason is the distortion of our pure energy. 
A relationship isn’t meant to be a distortion of energy, it’s meant to be a preserver, a giver of life a balance of chi.  If you find yourself, losing yourself, who you had planned to be, who you were on course to be, who you want to be, being lost because of the current relationship, you may want to rethink that relationship.  Think about who’s important to you, what you’re giving up and who’s the person you’re willing to sacrifice it all for.  A relationship should never devalue your worth, only increase it.
Until Next Time, Love Someone

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Eye of the Storm

All the tornados recently have caused me to think.  When we think of the “eye” of the storm, we think about the most dangerous place of the storm.  If the “eye” heads our way, we all run for cover.  Many of us find our way to shelter.  We respect its presence and take cover, praying until we’re sure it has past.  It is the deadliest part of the storm, consuming all in its path.  The “eye” doesn’t recognize what’s in its path.  It doesn’t distinguish who’s in its path; it just rips through towns, leaving only sketches of civilization. 

If you know anything about me, you know I absolutely love looking at the History Channel. I can stay glued for hours looking @ Archaeologist “Rock Star” Dr. Hawass, on “Chasing Mummies”.  While others are off @ the mall, talking to girlfriends, snuggled with lovers or looking at sports, I’m reading or watching programs on history.  Seeing the disaster in Joplin, MO reminds me of watching programs on discovering ancient civilizations where the people seem to have picked up and left without a trace. I so get it now, I so get why some people, left their homes, left the places they bore children, raised a family and thrived.  The Archaeologist unearths pottery, utensils, clothes, etc as they try to piece together our ancestor’s lives. Seeing the devastation in Joplin, I can clearly see those people picking up the pieces and leaving, never to return, leaving Joplin to become the manifestation of a Mad Max movie scene.  I can not image the journey those people have to rebuild any sense of their lives.  My heart goes out to them.

I got to thinking, was I an “Eye”, and am I the “eye” in my relationship.  Have I destroyed fruitful relationships, only to leave the horrible memories of disaster? Am I the “Beautiful Storm?” My initial response was “NO” it has never been me, I’ve never been the person to destroy my relationship.  I’ve always, always been the one to nurture the relationship, playing the part of an Architect, not the Tornado.  I’ve been the one to build the relationship up, giving the guy everything he needs to feel secure in our relationship I’ve played the role of the “woman” and I did it very well, damn it!  So I thought.  I then thought, yes, I guess I have been the Architect, like the one from “The Matrix” to a certain degree.  Realizing the part I’ve played in destroying my past relationships has allowed me to humble myself.  I’m drunk on reality and will need a moment to soak it all in.  I am “A Beautiful Disaster” Are you?  Have you ever been?

I guess at the end of the day, I should take responsibility for my actions.  I need to reevaluate what has caused me to behave that way and determine what part I tend to play in my relationships going forward. 

This is going to have to be continued………….

Until Next Time, Love Someone

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Aint I a Woman - Excerpt

Aint I a Woman, Aint I,
Aint I a Woman,

Don't I bear the burdens of my mother Eve each time I bleed?
I hemorrhage the exact agony of Mary
At the execution of a promising seed,
Even if I haven't received whispers from angels & conceived,
Conceived enlighten in my womb,

It’s a temple where pilgrimages should resume,
Circle my center seven times, kneel down & pray,
Praise my divine ability to carry humanity

Instead scientists try to replicate its mystical ways,
To eliminate the need for women,
As if we human waste,
Cloning of Dolly numbered our days, ..............

Unitl Next Time, Love Someone

Friday, May 20, 2011

The Detoured Journey Diary (DJD 001)

This ends the 1st week of my journey, back on the road to a better me.  I worked out with the trainer last night and I had so many mixed emotions.  I felt disappointed in myself, I felt defeated, I felt overwhelmed and I felt embarrassed.  He seems to be a person with plenty of patience’s, which eased me a little but still, I wasn’t motivated at all.  To top that off, I had the most stressful day I’ve had in a long time yesterday.  STRESS makes me EAT!  I was so conflicted on what to eat; my conscious and subconscious had an epic battle.  I like the KFC grilled chicken so I set off to get the 2piece white meat lunch box.  When I got there they didn’t have any grilled chicken ready and the wait was 20 minutes.  My conscious mind immediately told me to go to Buffalo Wild Wings and eat there, “its chicken”!  My subconscious said NO!  Then my mind told me to stop at McDonalds and get a Double Quarter Pounder, I haven’t had a Double Quarter Pounder in forever.  I must have been really, really stressed! My mind was trying to “de-stress” and I’ve programmed it to believe that food does that, helps it to de-stress.  I fought temptation and ended up with a small salad and roasted chicken from Schuncuks. 
While driving to the grocery store I thought hard about all the reasons I should not eat what I wanted and eat and what I needed.  I guess before, all the other times I tried to lose weight, I did not respect my conscious, enough to realize it is the primary reason I could not “WIN” before.  I often thought during the other attempts, why can’t I do this?  I’m motivated to go work out, I never mind going to work out.  Why can’t I stick to the diet plan!!??  I didn’t realize how powerful my mind was on persuading me to give it what it WANTS!  Now, my approach to losing weight has to be different, it has to be a mental battle between me, myself and I.  I have to find ways to deal with stress.  I realized yesterday, I can’t avoid stress, life is filled with it.  I have to learn how to manage it, when presented with it during my life.  If I continue to allow it to cause me to eat the way I have, I’ll end up killing myself.  The entire situation, kind of reminds me of “Fight Club” That’s what I’m in for a fight.  I realize some battles I may lose, but the war, this time around I am prepared to WIN!  Battle 1(yesterday stress attack, WON!)

Until Next Time, Love Someone.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Detoured Journey

Sometimes when we take journeys, well most times, we have rest stops, detours and even delays.  Some journeys seem so long that we are afraid to take them.  There’s rough terrain, there’s blizzards, iced roads, blinding storms, Tsunamis and even Tornados on some of the paths.  At times, we’ve told ourselves we can't take them and there are the other's we've said we just "won't" take them!  I don't know which is more difficult, starting the journey, re-starting after extended delays or traveling alone? 

I'm on a journey, a journey I've been on for several years now, my weight loss journey.  Listen when I first started back in 2009, I was serious, I took my work out gear to work every day, went to our gym without waiver and I worked out.  I wasn't losing the weight I wanted to lose, so I got discouraged.  I also got distracted by life events I had not planned for, so I came to an extended rest stop during this journey.  About eight months later I dusted my tennis shoes off and headed back out on the journey with renewed confidence that I will reach my destination.  In the time at the rest stop I had realized I wasn't eating right, which was the cause of me not getting the results I wanted, even though I was “working out”.  I armed myself with that knowledge, along with being inspired by the weight loss of a friend; I joined a "Boot Camp"!  I was ready, knew what I had to do, exercise and eat right, I was full steam ahead.  The unexpected happen again, I started getting sick, which caused me to miss days and not eat right (at least I used the sickness as an excuse).  Guess what, another detour, I continued to work out when I could, but I had lost focus on the eating right part.  I had lost about 20 pounds in the process, but had such a long way to go on this journey that 20 pounds didn't seem like an awful lot to me. I was not happy with my progress.  A few months later, I got my mind right, got over the illness and was ready once again to charge ahead with my weight loss.  When I was finally ready to go back, I ran into another detour, the trainer I was working out with, left to pursue other goals.  Ok, now we're in May of 2011, my trainer has left, I haven't been eating right and I’m so unhappy with my physical image I can vomit when I look at myself.  I wondered, do I give up, do I make excuses or do I keep trying?

I KEEP TRYING!  As of today I have signed up with a fitness camp, I know what my diet should consist of and I'm making progress to develop mental toughness towards the foods that I'm weak for.  I am determined to take one day at a time, one meal at a time, one class at a time, one pound at a time and one victory at a time.

I'm not sure if you're ready, but if you want, come take the journey with me.  Every week I will update my progress, I'll blog about my eating habits, I'll update my weight loss every 5 weeks(that's how often I weigh in with the Trainer), I'll talk about the triggers that make me want to eat and how I overcame them.  If you want to share at any time please do.  Rather alone or with company we, you, can achieve this goal, regardless of how many attempts there have been in the past, we must keep trying!

So I'm going to post pictures of me every 5 weeks.  The first one being one of the pictures I am most embarrassed of, the before picture. :(

 Come on, join this revolution!

Me @ 1 of my BFFs wedding! The dreaded before picture

Unit Next Time, Love Someone

Friday, May 13, 2011

"The Cupcake Man" - Darius T. Williams

It had been seven days since an unrelenting tornado, walked down a highway in St. Louis, MO destroying homes, families’ lives and businesses, when a ray of inspiration was smuggled into the city by way of train.
 The city was trying to find its way out of an unprecedented storm that crippled even its mighty International Airport, when Darius T. Williams arrived quietly amidst the aftermath.  He didn’t arrive on a missionary agenda, but to find retreat and relaxation away from his busy life.
When I first met Darius, it was in Chicago, IL at a mutual friend’s poetry performance.  Unassuming, Darius took command of the stage, performing, “You Should Let Me Love You” quickly becoming a crowd favorite.  My first impression was Luther Vandross, mixed with Barry White; his voice filled with such passion, raw sincerity, and humbled assertiveness.  Romantic unicorns danced through my head as my best friend and I waited to meet Darius.  Before we could finish praising him for his performance, he said, “I do cupcakes!”
I was confused.   I tried to understand the relevance of cupcakes to such a powerful poetic performance.   The weekend ended with me understanding what Darius meant by, “I do cupcakes!”
 When he said he was coming to town, I could not help but ask him to be the first person I interviewed for “The Random Alignment of Life” blog.  It was cosmic, it was destiny, and it was a random alignment of life that brought Darius to St. Louis on that weekend to be my first inspirational interview for the blog that was built to inspire, motivate, and encourage everyone!
Darius and I chatted before the interview began, him sharing with me his first interview experience and his tattoos that reinforce his dedication to his dream!
Kizzy: Sooo, thank you so much for agreeing to do the very first interview for, “The Random Alignment of Life” Blog!
Darius: You’re welcome, you’re welcome. {He smiled}
Kizzy: You were born and raised in Chicago?
Darius: Yes, Chicago, born and raised.
Kizzy: What side?
Darius: West side of Chicago!
Kizzy:  Oh, ok, I know a little about Chicago.  I lived there for a while.  What kept you from not falling into the circumstance so many other young African American males on the Westside of Chicago fall into?
Darius: A combination of things, there was a strong religious upbringing of course; my grandmother was a very spiritual lady.  I’ve always been a dreamer, too, a thinker, so I dreamt how I wanted my life to be.  I knew where I was.  I didn’t like my current situation, coming from an abusive home, so I dreamt.  I knew I had the power to change my circumstance.  Having the power meant I could change how my life ended up, so I dreamt on what that would be like.
Kizzy: You dreamt cupcakes?  Why cupcakes?
Darius: I don’t think there was ever a defining moment where I said, “I want to cook or bake cupcakes.” When it’s always there, when you’re created to do something, be someone, it’s always there inside of you.  You always know it and you just do it!  I’m a foodie; I’ve been cooking since I was seven, so I just did it. 
Kizzy: What was the first thing you cooked?
Darius: It was what I thought was chicken, but to come to find out it was turkey! Sooo, I’m the first person to ever fry turkey. I almost burned the house down, but it was fried turkey. {We both laughed} It’s only now, that I’m going back to define that dream of “cooking” and what it means.
Kizzy: So turkey to cupcakes, how did you start, The Cupcake Gallery? 
Darius: On a whim and a prayer, working a perfect $ 85,000 job as the Corporate Payroll Manager, I got laid off.
Kizzy: $85,000? {I was thinking, $85,000 American Dollars!  WOW!}
Darius: Yes, but I kept getting laid off.  I thought I was a failure.  I’d wonder, “What’s wrong with me, why do I keep getting laid off, I keep getting fired?” I really couldn’t understand it. Retro, I realize I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.  Especially with payroll being, A, B, C type of structure and I’m a creative dude, so it wasn’t the right place for me from the beginning.  I’ve always cooked, so I started cooking.  I could feel it in the air, I knew something was brewing, I just wasn’t sure what.  I just knew I had to write it all down. I started the Everyday Cookin’ {we said it in unisons}, blog! I did it, but I didn’t have any idea of what would happen.  Eventually though, I started getting a crazy amount of hits to my blog every day, like a 1000 hits, people all over the world!  I’d have posts with like 400 comments!  Crazy, people tuned it for me, to see what I was cooking.
Kizzy:  Wow, 400, so how did the buzz grown for the blog?
Darius:  It’s one of those things, if it’s meant to be, you put it out in the universe and watch it manifest.  You water it right and watch it grow!  I didn’t have a formula.  I knew I was sooo passionate about it, that I had to put it out in the universe, so I did. Anyway, one of the comments on the blog, was like, “Where’s the dessert?” I thought, I’m not a dessert dude, but what the hell, I’ll make some cupcakes.  The first cupcakes I made were red velvet, Jan 26th.  2009.  A few friends came over; they tried the cupcakes and were like, “These are the BEST damn cupcakes we’ve ever had!”
Kizzy:  So, what ingredients did you use, what box?
Darius: Box? No box baby. If I’m going to do it, I’m going to be true to who I am. I’m a foodie, I cook, remember, so I knew like what ingredients were needed to make it rise, I adapted some recipes and my red velvet cupcake was born.  Before I knew it, people were on Face Book like, “I want to place an order” and I was shocked, didn’t really know what to do, because I had been putting food up on the blog for a year, no orders, but they wanted cupcakes?  I had no idea, how big the cupcake world even was. I didn’t even think people were serious.  The first order I sold, it cost me 30 dollars to make them and I charged her 12, so I paid her to take the cupcakes.  The word got out and for 60 days straight I didn’t do anything but make red velvet cupcakes.
Kizzy:  So you were never professionally trained?
Darius: No, never professionally trained, I made the cupcakes, I put them out there, and people started ordering them, at some point I got flyers together, got me a website, then realized I should start making more than just red velvet.  I’m not a fool, a many of things I may be, but not a fool I am not!  I had complete strangers coming to my home for cupcakes, I thought that was cool.  Then at some point it became too much, I was working a full time job, commuting a total of five hours a day, I turned my stove off.  Time went by then my barber convinced me to turn it back on.  So I’m baking again and June 15th I got laid off again.  I started to think about what I was going to do with myself, my life.  I took some time to think about it all, figure my life out.  I then thought, why not cupcakes, so I put the status out there on Face Book, “Hey I’m looking to open a cupcake shop, who wants to invest?”
Kizzy:  So that’s how you got your start up, from Face Book?  Wow social media.  Do you think your transparency through social media, helped you with financing?
Darius: Absolutely, look back in the day with yahoo messenger; you could be anyone you wanted to be.  Face Book changed that; you can’t hide who you are anymore.  Your true character is reflected in social media today.  In order to be successful in social media, you can’t hide.  I allowed my character to show, even when I had some maturing to do, some growing to do, I put it out there in the raw.  People became vested, I guess.  Wait right now, in this moment, you make it seem like everything was amazingly easy, like a fairytale.  I don’t see it that way.  Yes, I had people from Face Book invest $13,000 into the startup, but my balance sheets said I needed $45,000.  As I was going through it, the mountains seem so much harder, higher to climb!
Kizzy:  What kept you climbing?
Darius: It was the vision, in my head. At some point, the tenure of the scenario changes from “I have to succeed for myself” to “I have to succeed for others”.  Now what’s happened is people are tuned in, and you become a breath of hope, a breath of inspiration.  Too much is given, much is required, so at some point I had to except the challenge.  My Face Book posts had to become less and less sillier, I had to make conscious decisions, because my life is my life, but really it isn’t my own any more.  So that’s how it all happened, note the dates, they’re really important.  January 26th, I made my first cupcake,  June  15th I got laid off, August had an investors meeting, again, what do I know about an investors meeting, I’ve been broke my whole life!  I went to the meeting, got some money coming in and November 7th I opened the door.  Now that’s going through it all, Chicago politics, Chicago City Hall to get a business license, take classes all that. November 7th, doors open!
Kizzy:  That’s a lot, amazing.  Do you have a support group?  Tell me about them?
Darius:  It’s hard, it’s hard.  I sooo get Kanye now, I so get him.  He said “The higher you go, the less you have around you!” Nobody sees it the way you see it, that vision.  A vision is based on a dream and at some point, you have to say, I can do it!  You create the vision, and then start putting steps behind it.  The problem is you’re the only one who sees the vision, the dream.  Everyone else around you is going to say, it’s impossible, you can’t do that, what about this, what about that.  That’s my support, the dream!  I do have some friends who’ve been there; no one will be there 100% of the way.  You’ll have people who’ll be there 70%, 80% but no one will be able to be there 100%.  So, if you’re doing this depending on a support system, then don’t do it.  You have to rely on yourself, you have to be self-motivated.  Listen, yesterday at work I was almost at the point of losing it, losing it.  I thought if that doorbell rang one more time I was going to scream!  I was so overwhelmed, but who can I talk to about that.  Someone said to me, just cut the orders off at a certain time, turn the oven off!  Like, you can’t do that…McDonalds, you can’t go to McDonalds and they tell you, oh we don’t have any more Big Macs, we stop making them at 3pm today.  No one gets it, how hard this can be, but I have to say, the benefits, the benefits of doing what you love, chasing your dream, that’s what makes it all worth it!
Kizzy:  Ok, you have Everyday Cookin, Local Holla, The Cupcake Gallery and Uptown Pie Company, what’s next for Darius?
Darius: So much more…
Kizzy:  Oh, don’t let me forget you were on Cooking with Sunny Anderson recently?
Darius: That was so cool! The executive producer who produces these amazing shows like, Rachel Ray and others asked me to stick around and tape a show with just me and Sunny!  Oh my gosh, I was like wait, me, me?  This amazing producer, who’s been producing all these shows for years, knows my name!  That’s why I’ll fight through the tears!  Moments like that you can’t pay for.  Who knew, who knew, I’d have the opportunity.  I’m also going back to the Food Network studios; we’ll see what happens with that.  I’m also starting, Everyday Fresh online.  It’s like an online grocery club! Since I’m in the food industry, I get food considerable cheaper than everyone else, so it’s a place you can order food, not get ripped off and have the food brought right to your door.  Local Holla, is the response to Groupon missing the mark on certain social economical markets.  There are some other things in the works.  We’ll just have to wait and see.
Kizzy: Tell me who’s your inspiration?
Darius: Different people for different things, right now, cooking wise, it used to be the greats like Paula Dean.  Right now I’d have to say my friend Sunny Anderson.  I connect with her immediately, her style, her story.  Sunny also fought and defied odds to be on the Food Network Channel.  My friend, wow, who would have thought I would be able to even call her my friend, ten years ago.  Then there’s Kanye, Jay-Z, people who come from really interesting back grounds and are the great of the greats.  The things Kanye can pull out of the air are amazing.  The punch lines Lil Wayne comes up with are amazing.  Creative stand point those people, then from a business, people like Zig Zagler, John Maxwell, Less Brown, people like that.
Kizzy: With all that going on, all the amazing things you’re doing, why do you do poetry?  Why take the time out to write poems and perform them on stage?
Darius: There’s a piece of me that enjoys the challenge.  Again, I’m a creative person, so I like it.  I love the challenge of telling a story, getting the audience to understand it, that’s what I enjoy about poetry, being creative.





Both comfortable in our own zones

Darius T-Shirt

Passion flowing as Darius speaks

Me in Aaaww of The Cupcake Man

Until Next Time, Love Someone!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Encourage Yourself

It's important to Encourage yourself!  Often times we are surrounded by people who aren't capable of uplifting us to the station in life we desire, because they are unsure of their own direction.  We even come across people who seem to be determined to keep us down, knock us down and walk over us.  I say to you, do not become too consumed with what appears to be their hatred, but understand their fear.  They fear  success, they fear the unknown & they fear disappointment.  When people are conditioned from the womb to behave, believe and function on one set of principles, you cannot expect them to understand the one's in which you operate on.  Do not expect the people to be your cheerleader, when they've been taught all their lives, to never have a voice!  Don’t hate them, don’t belittle them or even spend excessive amounts of energy trying to force your vision on them.  Become a ray of hope, even if they never say it, those same people will be forever changed if they see you “WIN”.  There will be a small light of possibility that shines within them, if you make it.  So, keep pushing, towards those goals whatever they may be.  Encourage yourself this morning, know you’re better than any current circumstance, your past and even your present.  Know that every day is a new day to begin the journey, continue that journey, and embrace that journey down the yellow brick road!

                                                        Encourage Yourself!


Until Next Time, Love Someone

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day

Today’s Mother’s Day.  Every day is Mother’s Day, if you ask me.  I’m not trying to upset anyone, with my thoughts, but I don’t chose to celebrate Mother’s Day, along with other “holidays”.  I don’t expect my daughter to go out her way to make or buy me a gift.  She wouldn’t even have to give me a card.  I wouldn’t feel bad; I wouldn’t make her feel bad about it either.  My daughter is an amazing gift that God granted me.  I see her as my gift, for as long as he allows us time together! She show’s her appreciation for me at moments that matter the most!  I was recently sick; well I had allergies that had my eyes swollen like Will Smith in the movie “Hitch” I was in the bed from Friday to Sunday, and she literally did not leave my side.  I think the only time that child got up was to take a shower, use the bathroom and fix us something to eat.  Moments like those are my gifts, gifts I cannot put a price on, gifts that have no expiration date, gifts that don’t come with instructions or receipts, but with a child’s unconditional love!  A child’s love that is the purest form of love God can allow us to experience without “killing” us!
 I am not ungrateful; I appreciate the well wishes and all, but don’t be offended if I don’t proactively participate.  I’d like to see more mothers denounce this “commercial” holiday, in which some of us get so disappointed when children don’t give us a gift.  How we make our children feel so bad for “not” getting us anything, referring to them as ungrateful, insensitive, etc.  We do this even if they’ve shown us their appreciation days or weeks prior, but if “we” don’t get something special on this day, we lose our mind!  We should be ashamed.  I’d like to see fewer mothers get upset, when their child says, “I didn’t have it mama, or I forgot mama!”  I’d like to see more mothers, spend more time with their children, creating quality memories that will become a collage of gifts that will never expire, go out of style or die!  I’d like to see mother’s give their children principles of character that cannot be waivered by wickedness, so they may in return give a cherished gift to their mothers, in being upstanding  citizens to the community in which they live.  While you sit down at dinner with them today, make a promise to sit down to dinner as family more than just “holidays” to strengthen family bonds. That’s a gift we all can benefit from.  

 Here’s a great gift, how about starting a family tree with your child today.  Teach your child their heritage, introduce them to family members they’ve never had a chance to meet.  Today tell them stories of your mother’s mother, mother.  That’s a gift, so many of us fail to pass down to our children, but a gift that will be priceless to you both!  Ancestory.com is a great place to start!  That’s how I found out I’m part “French”! 
I guess I’m saying at the end of the day, as mothers and wives, we should not be so wrapped up in this one day when we have an amazing family(that we all claim to have) that creates lifelong gifts of memories and love on any given Sunday :) 
 Anyway, I’m rambling again; let me know your thoughts?
Until Next Time, Love Someone

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Bondage & Love

It is humanities innate desire to be loved.  It is the fundamental principle in which we all breathe, exist by.  At first you may argue, no, look at all the hate, destruction, murder and crime that plague our world, there cannot be “love” here.  If fact, these barbaric exhibitions, these inter-tribal conflicts, exploitative mechanics performed by people (men) across the world, are pleads from malnourished souls who only source of proper healing is love!  People who have starved of love for so long, that they cry out like brat children for their mothers, in the way of terror, war, oppression and destruction.  Evil is only able to sustain, because of the lack of love.  If there were more people, who stood up in the name of love, who protested with love, campaigned with an agenda of love, we would be in harmony as humans. When love is absent, you fall ill to many diseases that seem incurable.  Diseases like, jealousy, envy, retaliation, manipulation and moral corruption to name a few.
Loving each other is the only conceivable way that we can rise to the glory and purpose of humanity that God intended.  At its basic level, mothers must love their daughters and sons.  I don’t mean a superficial love, like, clothing and feeding, which by sociology seems the basic identification of love.  Clothing and feeding children should not be the foundation of love.  Bathing their spirits in the river of God is love.  Giving them a moral foundation that cannot be swayed or bullied by tsunamis of temptation & evil is love.  Preparing swift actions of moral justice when they stray is love.  You love your child when you don’t just condemn their plot against humanity, their ills towards society, but you act as the prosecutor, judge and jury.  You recognize that you enable them with luxuries they have not labored for, that it distorts their judgment of brotherhood, equality and entitlement, so you rear them with a reverence for community and civil servant duties, those actions can be proclaimed as love.  We must start with loving our children, mothers loving their children.  She must teach them to be fearless in the name of love, independent in thought and morally connected to every community of humanity.  She must teach them the holiness in being of service to his/her community.  She must teach them to be unrelenting in their pursuit of justice and equality for everyone.  She must teach them the dangers of greed.   Most importantly she must teach them to be fearless in the sight of death, for it is only when we are unafraid of the cloak of death, we can be Free & Love in Gods image.
My random thoughts on love, man and how there can never be enough.  How it all starts with "mama's love!"
Please share your thoughts on the roles of Mothers & Love.
Until Next Time, Love Someone

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Winding Road

Sometimes during life’s travels, rather traveled alone, or with great company, we grow weary.  I am weary at the crossroads of my life.  You think about the momentous occasions that have tested your sanity, stretch your faith and even crumbled some dreams and you become weary.  You become weary when you’ve sat at a table, and mapped out the directions of your life, even including rest stops, but after years of wandering, it seems all you come to is rest stops , never reaching your goal.  Your feet begin to blister, heart begins to be burden down by hopelessness, and your mind begins to map directions back home, because you’ve been wandering way to long.  You hope that the people you come across in your travels can give you direction.  People, who seem to have come from where you’re trying to go, people who have GPS.  They however are no help.  Their GPS only seems to be able to give directions for one journey, theirs.  Their intent is genuine; they tell you where they’ve been, how to avoid the speed traps, the nasty diners and crummy hotels, but they can’t seem to give you directions to your final destination, so you grow weary.
You aren’t alone, it happens to us all, it happens to me.  The people you’ve asked for directions can’t help, not even with GPS because it’s your journey, your destiny!  That is the wonderment of God that he is able to provide everyone with their own destination, even when it seems others are on the road with you.  The people of Israel grew weary, wandering through a desert for 40 years; they even lost their way, being side tracked by fear, temptation, regret, faithlessness and uncertainty.  They too began to question their purpose, their promise and their destination.
I can only say, keep going, keep walking, and walk by faith, that’s your GPS.  Walk by love, not the love you have for God, but the undying love he has for you.  Know that he made a promise to you and as long as you continue to walk, never giving up, never settling for a destination that isn’t yours, you will get there.  Yes, we all grow weary, but, we can not give up!  You must keep that goal in sight, not allowing detours to be the main attraction, but driving around or through those detours and continuing on your journey.  You may even rest a while, but you must not grow content in the 5 star hotel room, when there is a Mansion designed with only you in mind.
So I guess I’m saying to you & myself, grow weary, it’s ok, the problem is when we stop walking, driving or peddling towards your destination.  Be determined, because of the promise, push because of your faith and believe because you have seen the works of God, in your life before, to know he is the ALL Mighty and has spoken so it shall be!!
Until Next Time, Love Someone

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I'm Stale

So, I'm working on my first official project of poetry.  The project is entitled, "The Random Alignment of Life" At this end of this blog, I'll give you an excerpt from the project! It's a sneak peak!  I'm feeling a little stale though, I'm about four poems from completing a 10 poem project and I'm at a dead end.  It's aggravating, you know, to be 80% complete, to chase down ideas, to only find they're mirages! Sometimes it feels like I’ll never get this thing done.  Sometimes it feels like I should publish my work with just six poems!  Why the hell won’t I? I don’t know.  Here’s the craziest part, I have tons of poems I can include into the project, but because I decided to make a concept album, I had to produce the majority of them within the last two months!  Uggghhh!  Some folks say with writers block you should just start writing, I guess, I should, see what I come up with.  Hopefully it won’t be next spring and I’m still talking about these same 4 poems!! Lol J I'm going to keep going though, because someone out there should hear what I have to say, hopefully it will be theraputic.  Ok, so here's an excerpt, it's untitled, let me know what you think?

Untitled
His presences, congers eerie memories,
Like teenagers with keys to liquor cabinet & wigi boards,
Images that had been boarded up against the outskirts of her physic,
Like windows in Peabody projects,  
In other words…suppressed,

Now overexposed like Diddy’s Time Square billboard,
She’s logging those moments as if she’s on Donald Trumps, executive board,
And it has her walking a thin line of sanity,

The memories chase her to questions,
She asked since adolescences,

If God so loved his only begotten son, but gave him unto this world…..

Until Next Time, Love Someone

Monday, May 2, 2011

I Don't Know Me


Love, do you spend more time loving other people than you do loving yourself?  Do you have it all figured out, you’ll take a bullet for the people you love, but how much are you willing to take for yourself?  How long have you put off things you’ve wanted to do, because you put others first?  Do you take pride in loving them?  Do you stand tall on the balls of your toes; pump your chest out, gleaming at what you’ve sacrificed for “them”?  I guess I’m asking all of these questions, because I don’t hear a “you” in the picture, except for you giving to someone else, not yourself. Ok, last question, please don’t take this the wrong way, but are all those things done to distract you from what you’re afraid of most, yourself?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you should know this, when it’s all said and done, when  time has lapsed, you’ll have to look in the mirror, you’ll have to get to know you, even the scary parts.  You can’t love others, not in the true essences of love, until you can love yourself.  If you don’t have one, perhaps you can buy a journal.  Maybe in that journal every night you can start unearthing you, by asking yourself questions you haven’t asked in years or maybe never asked.  Ask questions like, where did I see my life at five years ago?  What was the first memory of emotional pain I felt?  What do I think forgiveness means?  Why don’t I feel worthy of my dreams? Even if you don’t answer them, just write a question down every night.  Spark up these conversations with yourself, allow yourself time to think about them, see where they lead and be open to the responses you get back from yourself.  I promise talking to yourself doesn’t mean you’re crazy!  Take the next day, maybe even two, to think about them, then go back to them and write, write whatever comes to your heart.  I promise you’ll begin a relationship with yourself that will enrich existing relationships with family and friends.  Let me know how it goes!? Just my random thoughts :)
Until Next Time, Love Someone

I still live in Terror

Good morning young world.  While everyone is celebrating the "death" of a terrorist, I fall into a somber mood.  I'm neither happy nor sad about the death of Bin Laden.  I just think that these constant distractions, yes, his "death" is a distraction, will continue to pull us further away from what is important which is social and economic change, prosperity.  Gas is still increasing, food is on the rise and jobs are still scarce.  We are still a country ravaged by domestic terrorist that wear war shrouds of thousand dollar suites, implode our father’s portfolios, and mangle civil liberties with covert racism and discrimination.  There are terrorist that I am concerned about, who’s tactical warfare will determine the future of my child’s children, children.  So this morning, I don’t salute to the death of a foreign invader, I grow increasing afraid of the domestic ones.

Until Next Time, Love Someone

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Simply Profound

I’m wrapping up a book; I borrowed from a good friend, “The Dream Giver” by Bruce Wilkinson.  As the end approaches in the book, I reflect back to another book, my favorite book, “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho.  Both books are written simple enough that a fourth grader can read them, using characters like, “Ordinary” or “The boy”.  Initially, the characters seem to lack character development, no depth, no adventure and nothing mysteriously shadowing their every move.  They aren’t filled with sci-fi, family drama or even high speed chases.  It isn’t until the third page of both books that I realize my first impression couldn’t have been more inaccurate!  Both books are brilliant! I realized the brilliance, lies in the author’s ability to allow me to insert my own life into the landscape of, familiar town or foothills as a wandering Shepard.  I realized that in their simplicity, these two books, tell the most amazingly profound story of courage, love, passion, fear, comfort, distrust, self-doubt and desire, both were telling my story.  I then realized, why the “The Alchemist” had been translated into over 67 languages, and sold more than 65 million copies in 150 countries, because it’s unique abilities to place the story of each readers life on its pages, regardless of the language, culture, station in life, age or personal achievements or lack thereof.   
After reading The Alchemist for the first time(I’ve read it 5 times), I realized, that the dreams I had for myself were real, that they weren’t just a fantasy I created to pacify me through my own bleak existence.  No longer was I content with just dreaming while I was sleep, I wanted to dream out loud.  I even began looking at the turmoil, roadblocks and adversity I faced day to day different.  I stop feeling like the “victim” of life and began seeing myself as a main character in life.  I’m not just an extra; I’m a leading cast member.  That’s what both these books do; they help you see you’re somebody, even if you’ve been lead to believe you’re nobody your entire life.  It’s a LIE, you’re somebody, somebody with a unique gift, that no one else in this world has.   
Your life isn’t meant to be spent, just existing, with your head hung low, just passing through this world.  This is your LIFE, it’s your WORLD! It’s time you unplugged yourself from the “Matrix” and start living.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, if you’ve failed before, if you’re unsure where to start, if you have no one to support you or if you’re just down right AFRAID!  It doesn’t matters, what matters, is that song that sings a distinctive melody designed just for you, YOUR own soundtrack.  What matters is that God believed in you and who shall stand against you, when he is for you!
Take a step, towards your promise; God has given you, read the books.  I use The Alchemist as my reference guide.  It helps me stay on course, when I forget my way, when I feel like giving up or stop believing in the promise of God, I read it. 
If you haven’t read them, check them out at your library or buy them online or at a bookstore.  Once you’ve read them, let’s have an open discussion here on the blog about our thoughts of the books. 
Until Next Time, Love Somone 
You can buy this book @ amazon.com

You can buy this book @ amazon.com


Passion of Poets

At the beginning of the year, I was invited to Tamale Hut Cafe, by Jason Brock as a special guest during his winter Poetry feature.  This was my first time performing outside of St. Louis.  It was a truly inspiring experience. I had no idea what to except, I just knew, I wanted to go.  I'm so glad I did.  I met some truly amazing people.  Along with proving to myself, that I have a voice, that people are inspired by.

Tamala Hut Cafe, North Riverside(Chicago), Il.  The Cafe, is a privately owned restaurant, that closes its doors once a month to honor the arts.  Here stories come alive, rather it’s the colorful art work hanging from the walls, or it’s the performers who invite you in with their colorful stories.


Here are a few pictures of some of the poets that performed.  ALL talented in our own right!!

.


Jason Brock

Me :)


Steve Marcus


Darius (localholla)Willaims